why worry??

When one goes through one round of chemo even if the side effects haven't been as bad as everyone else's, going through another round of chemo just bring too many chills into my body, and so many days i tell Hubby i don't want to take chemo again. chemo is something i really dread taking again, but many people go through it so many times, one lady i talked to is on her fourth round, another one has been going for 7 years. I need to try and focus more on day to day, as this long term taking chemo is just taking a lot out of me. I ask myself why am i worrying about it, you may be perfectly fine, but there's always those doubts and fears that want to creep in and take away what comfort and trust God wants to put into my heart. " Let him TRUST in the name of the Lord and RELY upon God. Isaiah 50:10 i was also looking for another verse but only part of it would come to me and i couldn't remember where it was found so i'll have to wrack my brain some more. Anyway as i was reading my devotions this morning the author spoke of her trial with cancer and "as i struggled with feelings of fear and dread- fear of the unknown and dread of no longer being in control. Then i laughed at myself. I was never in control to begin with; i just thought i was". This was a reminder i needed today, God is in control of our lives, let Him have his way, trust in Him. Disappointment and fear may rob us of our peace during our illness. A setback in our treatment interferes with our plans. We may feel helpless and frustrated and weep before the Lord. But, we are still His children. We can lean on Him and trust Him to direct our steps.
I had never imagined how much work a garden was up till this year, so anyone who gardens wether big or small, many hats goes off to all of you. Big girl & I went out and picked off the rhubarb that needed attention, and of course dessert for supper, and then we continued to put my sticks in to mark the rows where i'd be planting my seeds, well that simple task is not so simple, i didn't realize how little umph i had, but we did make it, and then to top it off, we moved my containers which were sitting just outside the garden into the garden so the boy could mow the grass. That did me in for the day, and supper consisted of cracklings and buns, no one complained though, Big girl made a delicious rhubarb crisp, desserts always make up those not so special suppers. today's agenda we'll stick to a more simplified indoor laundry, and i'll call that pretty much a day.
Oh i'd forgot to mention the farm is officially done seeding, corn, spuds, wheat, oats and canola, yahoo!! so one of the farm worker couples put on a Thank the Lord for a wonderful, safe, Spring seed and an we BBQ'd and had a wonderful relaxing time visiting with all the rest of the farm crew. It's wonderful that everyone of the workers at the farm, loves the Lord and are Christians, it is such a warm, suportive family, even us gals all love to get together and chat up a storm (a gentle one that is lol!!) You can't ask for anything better when it comes to a work place. Also when i hit a low this week, i could count on Colleen to comfort and be there for me, thanks, Colleen.


i just love the big white fluffy clouds and esp. against the beautiful evergreens, we have a beautiful yard that makes for many great pics